An Englishman in Kuala Lumpur --- "Only Mad Dogs and Englishmen go out in the Midday sun"

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Fatherland Security ( Reichssicherheitshauptamt )

I went for an interview south of KL the other day with what I thought was a professional company. They went overboard about this constantly repeating the word professionalism. But then despite being told that they would let me know one way or the other – they didn’t. Surprisingly they appeared very keen, although they made a mistake claiming that the spouse visa could not apply to me because it was for Malaysian men with a foreign wife and that they had checked. I too had checked and was adamant that the gender of the foreigner was irrelevant. I even went to Putrajaya Immigration the following weekend to seek reassurance. I was told the gender of the foreign partner was irrelevant. I asked for something to back this up and why is it that companies in Malaysia don’t know this. I was answered with look at the website for proof and the rolling of eyes for the companies. Since the government wants the economy to do well perhaps they should make this situation and whole lot of other things clearer !

Most of you , if not the world are aware of the illegal workers crackdown. An estimated 1.65 million workers are here illegally. I have sympathy for them as a lot of them if not most have very poor prospects back home, are owed back wages and are willing to do the three Ds – Dangerous, Difficult and Dirty. It would be a lot better if these people were hired legally assuming there is a low supply in the area they want to work in and the employers despite all their claims about rising prices/costs will have to pay a fair wage with benefits just like everyone else, the extra cost can come out of the employers exploitive profit margin. Maybe then the prospect of hiring locals will look more attractive rather than throwing them on the current unemployment scrap heap just because the companies can hire some poor desperate soul on non living wages.

Good news in that I heard from an old friend in Sweden who I had lost contact with several years ago. Lifted my spirits to hear that she is doing well as an interior architect. Nice to know that Sweden can rise above the Ikea standard !

Onward to fatherland oops sorry homeland security. You may have noticed in the news about John Gilmore who I believe was refused boarding of a U.S. domestic flight because he didn’t have any id on him. Does this mean that the terrorists are already in the U.S.A. How overboard do you have to be for your minimum wage! Here s a hint- If a terrorist is boarding a domestic flight it means they are already in the country and it’s a bit late to be bolting the stable door.

In other news relatives of mine who are overseas Americans went to Florida - Disneyland in fact. They had a wonderful time with the giant mutant rats and ducks wearing gloves! But to spoil it all they got home to find their luggage all busted up with a polite notice in each one explaining what had happened. Who could do such a thing?

Was it the pissed off baggage handlers? ….NO,
Was it the tired overcharging taxi driver?…NO
Was it giant mutant rats who objected to being referred that way ? ..NO.

It was none other than good old US customs?! So take a step back here and think.. Customs? Don’t they usually check when you enter a country ?

Well these guys were thorough, so thorough that they broke all the locks thus rendering the baggage about as useful as a garnish on a smelly rubbish dump, There was apparently quite a few pieces of luggage broken since they had to all be put into a special container. Now I suspect it was probably minimum wage fatherland oops sorry there it goes again!… homeland security looking for those giant mutants rats who were probably on some secret presidential hit list just because they always look happy/stoned. Well if you were a reformed alcoholic and you saw only three fingers on someone hand wouldn’t you think you had fallen off the wagon. How many brain cells would it have taken to tell passengers you are going to unlock your luggage in front of us and we are going to rile through your dirty laundry and laugh at your fashion tastes. Maybe their X-ray scanner didn’t work? Maybe due to the wonderful process of competitive tendering and backhanders of shoving business my way the staff all got those super x-ray specs that you can buy in the back of the comics. If you think they work maybe you should buy shares in company that makes them.


Just for the benefit of the Customs kindly stop viewing Europeans like that because we are viewing Americans like this .





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reproduced with the kind permission of J. Sherffius
See his and other cartoonist works at :

http://cagle.com/

Music of the moment: Henry Mancini – Pink Panther theme

 
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